Damn Me
by ammay-chan
Summary: "Call me a Dark Lord. I do not care what anyone thinks of me. Not anymore. I just cannot stand here listening to those lies dripping from foolish mouths while many are slowly being murdered... Not when HE is affected too. Give me your hatred, your fear, your distrust, and I'll do my best to save you all." Darkfic. Plot. DM/HP. Warnings inside.
1. a letter

**I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ITS CHARACTERS/ I DO NOT MAKE MONEY OFF THIS FANFICTION**

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Welcome All: This story came to me one evening of malice and sorrow...

Coupling: Draco and Harry

Genre: Action Fantasy

Type: Dark

Story Warnings: Death, One-sided love, Heartbreak, Daemons, Gore, Lies, Betrayal, Sex, Dark Magick, Cursing, Conspiracy, Another Dark Lord.

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**A Letter**

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_Mother,_

_You know that I love you dearly. I say and write it as much as I can. I also told you that I will come to visit. To see how you and little Anastasia are doing and I must apologize. It wont be soon, but please do not fret. Let me explain to you why it is taking longer for me to make an appearance._

_The War on Hogwarts had been hard on us. The years after even harder._

_When they rounded up all the children from Death Eater families and those few other affiliated with dark magick I truly believed that they were going to execute us like Father..._

_That day had been so horrible and I will never forget it for the rest of my life Mother. He had looked so hopeless sitting there on that blasted chair. When he pleaded guilty I felt my heart plummet in the bowels of my stomach. You gripped my hand so tightly Mother, the idea of you giving birth to Anastasia right there crossed my mind several times. The Minister sentenced him to death and we watched so emotionless as the chair Father sat strapped to stretched him out flat for all eyes to see like a bug pinned down. A simple potion slipped down his throat and after those five minutes of convulsing did he truly leave us. Did you know Mother, that when I helped you stumble from that room, that a guard who sympathized with us passed me a folded up piece of fabric? When we were safely back at home I opened that soft green material to see our family crest and on the other side Father had written to me. It simply said: 'Do not blame them, yet do not pity them.'_

_I cried. I cried so hard Mother. He had been strong to his end, but that deep sorrow that yawned to life inside plunged me into a world of despair. When the Ministry came to take me away I really did hope they were going to kill me. I really hoped that._

_Instead I ended up with the other children and placed in a special Lockdown school set inside the Ministry itself. We were to complete our school work and learn how to change our attitudes to become useful citizens to the Wizarding Community. Of course it had also been to keep a close eye on us as well._

_That October you sent me a letter, do you remember? The one where you were attacked in our own home, by a group calling themselves The Resistance to Exterminate Darklings. I was so happy (and still am) that you were able to flee even with the recent birth of Anastasia. Sadly I read desperately through your letter to find that the House of Malfoy had been utterly destroyed. My reason for making top marks in Lockdown Studies seemed foolish to me suddenly. Again I felt empty._

_For weeks I had scanned every newspaper and script about The RED, keeping tracks on them. What I read on them became more terrifying each day. This group believed the Ministry had not done enough to enact justice from the Dark Lord's short reign. Without the Ministry's approval they went out tracking down hidden Death Eaters, their old contacts, their own family members, people with dark abilities, people on parole and many more to rip them from their homes and humiliate them in public executions! They were so similar to Death Eaters I thought I had gone insane and leapt into an alternate reality! It wasn't until The RED attacked the Ministry Headquarters (still under repair) to kill those of us children in Lockdown Studies that the Ministry retaliated with extreme action._

_You remember that week well. I know you do. You had sent me so many owls that never reached me even after the end of the siege._

_The first day of the attack came and someone had shut us into our own Sleeping Wing. Twenty-three of us, mostly Slytherin's were left to deal as the Ministry fought back. Somehow, maybe intentionally, we were forgotten. Fear ran through us like water down a drain._

_On the second day fights broke out among us, actual fist fights and screaming as if we were animals. I rose to the challenge to do everything I could to appease each and every one of them. I instilled an atmosphere of calm. We collaborated resources together, kept ourselves busy with strategies in defense, and had shifts set up to watch the entrances of the Wing. We knew our chances were grim._

_Three more days passed and even though I did my best to inspire hope, moods were spiraling down as fast as food and water were... I wrote to you then. Mostly dark poems. They burnt in the end._

_The final day came with one of the doors opened to reveal a Professor who had taught us classes. We thought we were to be saved, but the Professor had betrayed us. The RED came in Mother. Pouring into the tight space of the hallway shouting curses and I am proud to say that I was the one standing in the front shouting curses right back._

_Something inside me had finally snapped. I knew one moment I was tired of being the victim, being a laughing stock, being labeled: useless, coward, stuck-up, and all the others. The next second I was thrown into a state where instinct and madness took hold of me. I transcended into a slightly different personality, completely open-minded to everything that presented itself..._

_Mother I cannot begin to describe in detail of what I saw. I can only try._

_I saw The RED as fearless people standing up for what they believed and I also saw them full of the same fear which drove them, that everyone against them were enemies of the People. I saw us, the students who survived, fighting to survive once more in a world which changed sides back and forth as easily with only a carefully placed whisper. Then I saw HIM and no more-_

_He came with a crash through the ceiling of all places. Wearing an Aurors' apprentice robes his hair wild and eyes free of lenses. His wand was brandished and he rode the back of an enormous salamander that sped down the wall to defend us. In that moment I saw Harry Potter the way others saw him; a beacon of light and a will to bend those who would hurt others. The feelings of hatred old and comforting sprung from my chest, but more importantly love as well. An overpowering sort of love that blinded me. I knew suddenly what I want in life again Mother. I want to stand beside Potter more than just a fellow wizard, more than a friend, or a colleague, more even than an equal. I want Harry Potter to be mine..._

_That is the reason I write to you now on the day of my graduation from Lockdown Studies. Not proclaiming my new twisted outlook, only stating what my next course of action shall be. In time, I shall visit you at the Black Manor which has graciously been given to us by Potter himself._

_For now I am going to follow him into the Auror Academy and one day be at his side. If it wasn't for him we would not have a renewed home, and I wouldn't have a renewed name to work, sweat, and bleed in Honor._

_I love you with all my heart Mother, and I cannot wait to meet my sister Anastasia who I am sure I will love just as much._

_Your Son,_

_Draco Black_

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End Chapter.

So yeah, next Chapter we will see Draco and Harry trying to get along. Until next time.


	2. we collide

Author's Comments: Sorry it took me so long for this short chapter. I've been trying to recruit a Beta-Reader to no end and got tired of waiting for replies.

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**We Collide**

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A crouched figure, strewn in shadows, ambles across the dark courtyard. The mans' gait is slow as he appears to drag a leg sideways over wet cobblestones. The rain has not let up in the throughout the whole day since the search has started, it's almost as if bad weather follows this man wherever he goes.

Fact is, the 'eye of the storm' happens to be targeting his center movement. I wouldn't have been able to keep up with Gildrith Tilton at all if I hadn't tried out my sly little curse. The bastard is far more than slippery. It was only complete luck that I saw him dealing in one of the back alleys and by a hairs-breath quick enough to spell my wand at Gildrith letting the curse settle silently. When the storm built up steadily, I had returned to an Auror safe house to pack a few things and tip my partner off. Night came and we picked our way through drizzled streets to finally catch sight of him now.

Gildrith sways under a flickering lamp casting suspicious eyes at the empty streets around him. A few jabs with his wand in the air and the hunched man whirls about making an incredible disappearance by walking straight into a corner and then: nothing...

Startled my body immediately stills and I can feel Spears beside me flinch. We hadn't expected the man to simply vanish through a brick wall. Surveying the area I flick up a Silencing spell and lean to my right. "Crawl down to the edge of the roof... see what spells he put up. I'll watch the area while you're exposed."

A slight grunt is all Spears gives and he creeps out from beside the chimney to slowly slink downward. I cast a Living Shadow spell on my partner who immediately thins out and becomes nothing but a black smudge slipping over the roof. Through the minutes following I keep my eyes scanning from the streets below to other rooftops abroad. Even on a roof I feel nothing but paranoia. I suck in a breath and force myself to calm, to focus on our goal. The shadow of Spears returns and I quickly counter the spell, turning him back into his true form.

Spears frowns. "He placed a level II Protection and Alert spell including a level III Compulsion Ward."

"So he knows we've been watching..." I want to curse under my breath but that won't do me any good, so instead I nod my head. "Alright, let's get down there, cover the scene and send for back up."

Affronted Spears' face twists roughly in growing distaste. The other male is an agreeable looking stud if he didn't frown so often and shave properly. "Couldn't we just... I don't know. Get in there and do this by ourselves?"

I understand my partners' ambition in 'getting the bad guys' on our own, but I don't really fancy the 'on our own' bit. Sure there was a time I had been reckless and brash almost similar to Potter in a dark foreboding kind of way, yet after watching the other charge in with equally painful consequences I learned my lesson from afar. "What? You want to go in there and get our faces blown right off?"

"No." Spears snaps. "I want to come out on top like all the other teams for once!"

My eyes narrow. "We do. We have a higher rate of success, organization, and non-casualty from any of the others." I try to make my argument stick but Spears' snort says what he truly thinks of our cowardly ways. A twitch starts right below my left eye (a stress tick I acquired recently).

"We don't get any awards for that! Neither do we further in the ranks with our cautious ways."

"Don't you want to keep our stealth and esteem? Jumping into a fight isn't a good path to follow Spears."

"Malfoy..." An exasperated sigh leaves him. "Why aren't you just in espionage? An Auror takes risks! It's part of our job."

"Fine." Chewing on my lip I glance to the corner. "But this'll be a _calculated risk_."

Deftly we drop into the courtyard. With my wand training on the dark routes opened to us I let my partner take down the spells. A few shadows move towards the left from passersby at the end of the block. I back up a step to give my sight more access. A shift in temperature changes and my hackles rise suddenly-

"Shit!" Is all Spears says.

I whip my head to the side trying to catch a glimpse over my shoulder. "What is-" Something long and thin drives into my back just above my hip.

The pain is excruciating, knocking the wand from my hand and it cripples me to the ground. A scream rips itself from me. A muscled arm wraps around intending to choke me out. Shouting doesn't help much as the pain turns into an incredible burning through my body. Neck pulsating, the trapped blood in my brain beings to pound. With both hands I try desperately to weasel them under the offending appendage to ease the strain. My movements are only frantic as the attacker's knee digs into the object piercing my side. Eyes rolling I strive to fight back the mental attack first. Think.

Plenty of time wrestling with Potter had taught me two things about myself: One, I happen to be a pretty squirmy opponent. Two, I don't play nice in hand-to-hand combat.

I lurch forward with my weight. Shifting my knees I turn as much as possible and elbow the fucker in the face with a quick jab.

The person lets go of me howling aloud.

Adrenaline flowing into me I roll down onto my good hip and force my right leg out in a precise kick to the groin. He went down as I came to my feet with wand in hand. Coughing uncontrollably I keep the wand trained on Spears' doubled-over figure. "Sp-Spears -_hack, hack_- what the fuck!?"

Pitiful moaning follows and Spears raises his head with a painful expression hissing, "Compulsion. Ward!"

For a few more minutes I cough and Spears groans.

"What the fuck did you stab me with?!"

"H-Here..." With a shaky voice Spears stumbles over and balances himself on my shoulder before reaching around and ripping out the object.

"AHHH!" I push him away falling unceremoniously to the ground to stare at the offending thing covered in blood. "You stabbed me with your wand!"

"Shut up. You can take foreign objects sticking you."

My eyes widened as I sat there for a moment. "Did you just make a jibe at my sexuality?"

He blinks blankly from the aftershock and awkward moment between them. Spears bursts into a fit of laughter.

Maybe it's funny to him... Maybe I should kick him in the balls again.

Footsteps echo down the alley. Spears and I jump into action to stand straight with our wands pointing at the sudden arrivals. Potter and Kincord appear with their own wands trained in a mirrored effect. A smirk lifts the side of my lips. I applaud myself for the fact that I can be stabbed in the kidney and still keep cool in front of my childhood adversary and longtime crush. I twirl my wand with a flourish and slip into my holster -trying to keep up the act. "Evening Potter."

Twinkling green eyes hold an acknowledgement and Harry Potter puts away his own wand. "Draco, I didn't know you could scream like that."

"Maybe if you both cut the crap and start shagging you would." Spears drawls and proves to me once again of having no taste.

"Charming." I sneer at my partner and try to ignore poor Potter's embarrassed expression.

"Yes, well... What in Merlin's name happened?"

"Nothing we can't handle ourselves." Spears comments quickly.

Potter's face darkens and I suffer holding in a sigh as his green orbs try sending me a deep meaning, _let me in on the details_.

Kincord speaks up, "We received a note to follow a small storm moving along the Eastern side."

Oops.

Angrily, Spears glares at me and I shrug. It has long been noticed that I tip Potter off every chance I can get in case things go wrong. In my defense things usually do. I've been wanting to get our smaller teams to merge into a squadron for awhile now so I can be closer to the raven-haired male, but so far the attempts are unfruitful. Instead I work to keep Potter updated and help where I can. Which Spears hates of course. Sulking the male turns away most likely thinking I'm sucking up to Potter. Well fuck him, so what? Those are my intentions from the very beginning of this facade.

"Good. Since you're here we could use your help." A shared glare, my hand drifts to my side as I grind out, "So we don't kill each other on purpose or by _accident._"

A snort.

"No problem lets share information and get this party rolling."

I can only nod at Kincord as I turn away stiffly to rifle through the pouch on my belt. Potter saddles over to me with a soundless approach. I don't notice until his fingers rest lightly on my hand clutching the wound. A jolt of electricity awakens all my deadened nerves and the squeal in my throat comes out as a half cough. My surprised face makes him fight a smile, "You're hurt."

"It's inevitable."

His smile falters and he lets his hand slide away.

Even though I'm not much of a masochist I silently thank Merlin that the warmth Potter provides recedes. If we are going to go after this elusive Gildrith I want to be in the right frame of mind. Not bouncing through a happy place hand in hand with the raven. Heat rises to my face just picturing the silly notion and I pull out the cork of a potion with my teeth. I down the sickly tasting goop and replace the glass tube. The potion works its quick magick as Spears retells our short experience with the target.

"So are you sure those are the only spells he used?" Potter paces in front of the corner. "Because I can't feel any entrance or exit through this wall."

"Potter''s stumped?"

"No... seriously."

The four of us stand pondering on our latest crises and I glance upward. Brows twisting I let myself curse. "That's why."

They peer to the sky as well.

"The storm's dissipating."

"What does that mean?" Potter questions.

I grimace, "It means he isn't in the area anymore."

"We saw him go into that building though..."

"Maybe he used some sort of device to throw you off?"

"No... well... _shit_."

Agreeing with Spears my shoulders tighten. "The bastard hoodwinked us."

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End Chapter.

Yes well, the next Chapter shall be either posted tomorrow night or in the following morning.

Cheers.


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